Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Ask Dr. Dong
Source: Unknown (would be more than happy to add it, if anyone happens to know)
Ask Doctor Dong:
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Ask Doctor Dong:
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Kevin Spacey - Inside The Actor's Studio
It was a delight to see Kevin Spacey at the studio. Obviously very hardworking. Very aggressive and creative in pursuing his goals. Multi-talented. His impeccable impersonations demonstrated his keen observation and the skills of an actor. He did a bit of tap dancing that was rarely seen and pretty impressive.
An actor who can do theatre is a great actor - since there is only one take and you have to do it right night after night. Kevin Spacey can do both.
Quotes:
"Don't judge the character (act it instead)...let the audience judge."
In closing out, he said,
"To want, and to be ambitious, and to want to be successful, is not enough. That’s just desire. To know what you want, to understand why you are doing it, to dedicate every breath in your body to achieve. If you feel you have something to give, if you feel that you particular talent is worth developing and is worth caring for, then there is nothing you can’t achieve."
Salute!
An actor who can do theatre is a great actor - since there is only one take and you have to do it right night after night. Kevin Spacey can do both.
Quotes:
"Don't judge the character (act it instead)...let the audience judge."
In closing out, he said,
"To want, and to be ambitious, and to want to be successful, is not enough. That’s just desire. To know what you want, to understand why you are doing it, to dedicate every breath in your body to achieve. If you feel you have something to give, if you feel that you particular talent is worth developing and is worth caring for, then there is nothing you can’t achieve."
Salute!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Perfect English School
His English is fine grammar wise. But the delivery is like prequel to v1 of text-to-speech software.
Welcome to the robot world!
Welcome to the robot world!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Lie Detector
Lie Detector Robot - Joke
"One day Jack's dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face. Jack returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?".
Jack answered, "Dad we had extra classes today". Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Jack on his face.
His dad told him, this robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, " Why are you late?"
"Dad I went to my friend's house."
Which friend?
"David"
Splatt... Jack got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
"No dad honestly I went for the movie with my girl friend."
"Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to watch movies after school." Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot. Hearing all this, Jack's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "After all he is your son, he will be like you".
The robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Jack's mothers face :-)
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